A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation...Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex...Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.
Ouch. A sex offender registry to boot?
A commenter at CrunchyCon asked whether or not Lawrence v Texas would apply to this case. If this were in the United States and not Scotland, the conviction would be overturned in my opinion.
I would pay money to sit in on the oral arguments for a case like this. I read the Lawrence transcript and was more than entertained at the ill-fated attempts by the State of Texas to explain the "rational basis" of their now overturned sodomy law. I can only imagine how hard I'd be laughing at the attempted justifications of protecting bicycles from evil fornicators.
It could look a little something like this: although you'd have to substitute the drug reference for our current subject (from one of my favorite South Park episodes):
Having a twisted sense of humor has its advantages.